diamondofmidnight

And lo, I return... Summer has passed by, marked by several interesting events. Some of them incredible and life altering, some of them terrible and the cause of great suffering. I have made it through, not unscathed but rather having gained some new and interesting perspective.
My life, though not nearly perfect, is better than it ever has been before. I have my problems, yet they seem so much less stressful. I am not worried about being hurt, I think anymore. I mean, I know it will happen, that I will get hurt. But I have made it this far, so I guess I can handle a little pain... ha! I can handle a lot of pain, and I do... every single day... And now Fall is settling in and my body aches, the change in temperature and rises and drops in air pressure cause my joints to sing with pain.... never mind the muscular abuse I must suffer each day... Fibromyalgia....fukkin painful...
  But really, I know I will get hurt, its part of the learning process, I suppose. I accept it as I also accept who I am, all of it, oddity bordering on the brink of complete insanity all wrapped up in the prettily painful packaging... But now? In my life? The one I love does not hurt me, does not seek to bring my pain, does not seek to twist my reality for his own purposes and I am steadier for it.... It's so nice a change of pace... Love for it's sake alone.... I highly recommend it!
  So enjoy the new photos I'll be posting in the next few days or weeks while I fall in love with Autumn all over again!

Well, my car is still running! so the trip was worth it. My comp died, not so good...the comp I am using right now isn't letting me upload photos for whatever reason, from my camera. However, I still have plenty of unedited stuff I am working on to post here. As you might notice, I have posted a few finished ones, more from past shoots which never got edited.... Hope you all enjoy!

I've been on a long journey, and returned home safe once more with a new vehicle.  It runs, not without it's own special issues, but I asked for and received what I needed. I got to see some old friends, and enjoy some some new terrain, even if was a bit scary at times. Along the highways of Georgia was an over abundance of tire pieces strewn about the breakdown lanes. Pennsylvania had many deer carcasses, and I only took notice because another friend had told me about his own observation. But the prettiest stretch I saw in daylight was in the Poconos Mts. region US route 22! Simply gorgeous in all its Spring time splendor! Can't wait to go back and visit! For REAL!
    So now I am back and have once again fallen right back into getting my belly issues figured out. As of 7:50 this morning there has been a camera slowly working its way through my digestive tract. Making its loop de loops through my intestines to make interesting pictures for the docs to interpret and hopefully give me some sort of idea of what's happening inside my body.... As of last weigh in I have lost around 6 more pounds dropping me dangerously close to below the 120's.... I don't really need to be losing any more weight now or I'll really be sick... I have been eating, when allowed, and my system can't decide what it wants to do, sometimes holding the food in my stomach for hours, sometimes pushing it through so quickly its passed within an hour of consumption. So my attempts at staving off weight loss through eating have not worked... Blood work done does indicate some sort of auto-immune disease, and my skin was biopsied finally, after years of wondering about the red spots and patches all over my body (typically edited from my photos, the biggest ones at least). They are now wondering if I may have Crohn's disease and/or Lupus or some other odd auto-immune disease I have no name for. Blood has been sent to a special lab to test for above and beyond the norm usually tested for in blood work panels.
     My follow-up appointments to talk results are not until next Thursday....ugh... why so long? But anyway, we shall see what happens, right?

The course of anti-biotics has been run, and I am feeling better. Not one hundred percent, hell not even 65%, but at least I can eat and I am getting better. I am also trying very hard to keep moving. Everything hurts, EVERYTHING, and hurts so that I dont WANT to MOVE at ALL, but I must.... and keep moving...
    The weather is helping, allowing me to want to be outside and moving. I have been spinning my poi, my big meteor hammer, and that's so much fun.... I am getting better at it, but still end up hitting myself with the ball frequently.... aw, well.... accident prone? Who me? hehehehe

Bigger news!
     

                 Getting a car, most likely next week should everything fall into place just right! It's going to be an adbenture- (read- adventure), as I must travel all the way from Maine to Georgia to get it from a friend in the military. He and his family are not using it and I can have it! yay! I just have to get down there and get it back up here! I've never gone on a big trip alone before, road trip!!!!!!!! Yay! Super psyched!

Big and scary, but exciting and fun! Wonder what kinds of people I'll meet along the way! Definitely bringing my camera! So stay tuned for fun travel pics! hehehehehehee Wish me luck! Well, wait wish me GOOD luck! yeah, that's better!

Little by little I am starting to feel better since taking the medicines for the stomach bug....Eating is still a painful process however, and the pills are not very easy on the system.... But I am eating, so, it is an improvement. I think.... We'll see...

Anyways........................................


       So, You like to watch?


                            I got something for you....

You musta been a dance commander.... giving out the order for fun....


      it would be awesome yeah....



alright..... allright who gives the orders here?


My goodness! Electric Six! Look it up if you don't know them! hehehehehehe



And now for something completely different... I was inspired.....

and its a bit crude.... so be warned.....


"hee hee hee
Lil pig lil pig
Let me cum in
let me fuck you
til I'm done
Take it out
squeal and shout
life's not fair
but who really cares?
Lil pig lil pig
let me fill you up
drown you in sorrow
with your fleshy cup
Is it tears?
Your real fears?
Or do you like being
lil pig lil pig
Let me blind you in the eye
Here I come
There's nowhere to run
Squeal and Wheel
Turn and cry
Lil pig lil pig
Let me pull your tail
Hear you wail
Grunting with all your might
its going to be a long night
Lil pig Lil pig
Let me tie you down
you great big sow
and keep you in my pen
my eternal friend
Lil pig lil pig.....






Just food for thought.....


                      I've had a mean streak appearing in my poetry....  aw, well....


"It's a pity
how your living in your city
and your kitty is kicking wit me getting grimy and gritty
aight klown I know how this might sound
I heard your womans peeping I'm coming wit tight klowns
we can fight now
or else you can just pipe down
why am I even talking to you right now?"   Tech 9ne "Snake Ya"





hehehehhehee, just random thoughts popping in and out....

-J-R L